The word obey cannot be separated from the idea of honoring them. Honor your parents so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy life on earth.Therefore, every Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. The Qur’an says the only time a child should say no to his parents and disobey them is when they are asked to something that is not allowed by Allah including committing sins, lying and so on. If not, the children must show love and gratitude to their parents.
Being patient and tolerant with parents-
Everyone makes mistakes, if parents do something bad that is against the religion or against the wish of their children, it becomes the responsibly of the child to have patience and tolerance. Instead of venting out in anger, children must take great care not to react wrongly to what their parents have said or done. It is a great sin to dishonor parents.
Always pray for their well being-
It is the duty of every Muslim to continue praying for their parents upon their death. Muslims should ask Allah to forgive their parents after their passing. Such prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa Salam) has informed us.
The Greater Right of the Mother-
In families, mothers are the most important as they traditionally spend most of their time taking care of their children. As a result, a child’s gratitude should be more towards their mother.
Must Know Your Duties-
When a child comes of age, it becomes their duty to provide for their parents at all cost if they are able to do so. Showing them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them and supporting them financially if they are in need are incumbent upon every Muslim who has one or both parents alive.
Allah sums this in the Holy Quran saying:
“And We have enjoined upon man (care) for his parents: His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and your Parents; to Me is the final destination”. (Chapter 31:14)
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Love & Respect for Parents ;
Parents are the most respectful and important in child life and those who are obedient and dutiful to their parents Allah (SWT) blessed them on the earth and on the heaven as well.
What a Child can do for Parents?
Always Pray for them;
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ
يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.”
اے ہمارے رب! مجھے اورمیرے ماں باپ کو اور ایمانداروں کو حساب قائم ہونے کے دن بخش دے
The following Hadith beautifully explains What a person can do for their parents if they are not alive.
A Hadith related to Ibn Majah and Malik on the authority of Abu Hurairah, “The rank of a person may by raised after his death. He asks; My Lord, how does this come about? He is then told; your child has prayed for your forgiveness.”
Must love and respect your Parents:
Allah (SWT) says, “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of ” ( سورة الإسراء , Al-Isra, Chapter #17, Verse # 23)”
Honour.
The child is not supposed to abuse any of his/her parents. This requires a great attention because in our daily life, we ignore such small things which lead to disrespect our parents unconsciously,
Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: Allah’s Apostle said. “It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents.” It was asked (by the people), “O Allah’s Apostle! How does a man curse his parents?” The Prophet said, “‘The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother.” (Book #73, Hadith #4)
Must be good towards them specially when they become older:
Allah (SWT) says,” They ask you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) what they should spend. Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well.”
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #215)
Narrated ‘Abdullah: I asked the Prophet “Which deed is the dearest to Allah?” He replied, “To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.” I asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents” I again asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied, ‘To participate in Jihad in Allah’s cause.” ‘Abdullah added, “I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more.” (Book #10, Hadith #505)
Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: A man came to the Prophet asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet said to him, “Then exert yourself in their service.” (Book #52, Hadith #248)
Must be grateful and always polite to them;
Allah (SWT) says,”And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”.
( سورة لقمان , Luqman, Chapter #31, Verse #14)
Obey them in all aspects according to the Holy book Quran
Parents are to be obeyed in matters that are permitted in Islam.
Abdullah ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) told a person that one who awoke in the morning as obedient to his parents, according to the commandments of Almighty Allah, was like one who found two doors opened for him in Heaven. And he will find one door opened if any one of his parents was alive. But one who broke the day as disobedient to his parents defying the orders of Allah the Almighty, was like one who found the two doors opened for him in Hell. And he will find one door opened if any one of his parents was alive. The man asked the Prophet (PBUH), if one should be obedient to his parents even if they were insensible to him? The Prophet (PBUH), replied, “Yes, even if they are insensible ; yes, even if they are insensible; yes, even if they are insensible.”
Final Note: May Allah (SWT) show mercy on us and our parents and may HE make us worthy enough to serve our parents in the way HE has defined (amen), Being undutiful to parents is one of the greatest sins as it is clearly mentioned in the following Hadith,
Narrated Abu Bakra: Allah’s Apostle(PBUH)said, “Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?” They said, “Yes, O Allah’s Apostle!” He said, “To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one’s parents. ” (Book #74, Hadith #290)
Think before its too Late;
Where as the Holy Quran commands us to be obedient to the parents and to be serviceable to them, it also says:“Your Lord knows best what is in your minds; if you are righteous, then surely, He is Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again.” (17:26)
God knows it quite well as to what is there in your hearts; if you are righteous, then you should know that God forgives those who turn to Him. The Companions of the Holy Prophet, sallallaho alaihi wa sallam, were also confronted with hardships, and for religious reasons their relations with their parents were strained. But of course, it is for you to try all you can to be good to them and to look after them as best lies in your power; you should not lose any opportunity to serve them. Your good intentions will bring you good rewards. If you have to get yourselves separated from them, because of your religion, that, of course, is a thing, that you cannot help. But you should always keep in mind that you have to try to be good to them; your intentions must always be very good. You should supplicate to God for them.